The pleasures and pains of buying a home

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Finding a property is not an easy task. The decision on where to live is probably one of the most important ‘purchasing’ choices one can make, after all it is where you are going to live! The difference between getting it right and getting wrong can mean the difference between a happy existence and an unhappy one. It is often stated that moving home is one of the most stressful things you can do, however when trying to find a new home, the final action of moving you and your belongings into the new place can certainly seem like the easiest aspect of the task!

The sheer mountains of properties out there (just in London alone) for example, makes the hard decisions even more challenging to make. What location do I want to live in? What is the best I can get for my budget? Am I buying into an property that will grow in value or will it be a dud investment? Am I being overcharged? Am I going to be bamboozled by clever sales tactics and end with something that isn’t right for me?

The purchase of property is invariably anyone’s biggest expense in life. Especially in London where property prices accelerate well beyond that of inflation, and monthly outgoings on mortgage payments tend to be a higher proportion of peoples’ incomes than elsewhere in the country, getting it right from the get go is imperative.

Unless you are in the property business yourself, keeping tabs on the current values of the property market is a time consuming affair. Whilst I would always advocate independent analysis and research (especially if this is where you are going to live), the value of getting the help of experts cannot be underestimated.

Whilst large well known estate agents have a wide selection of properties at their disposal, they can lack a personal touch and attention to detail that a smaller agency can provide. It really depends on what you are after, if you know what particular niche of property you are after, it really helps to deal with someone who knows that particular area well.

A company I found to be useful: Benthorp Properties (http://benthorp.com/about-us/), are specialist London property consultants. Have a look if they represent an area that you are interested in. Otherwise check online for your particular corner of the world.  I may well be biased but I do find that using a specialist company rather than one of the real estate giants leaves you feeling  more in control of your investment in a house, even if it does not actually change anything!

It always pays to be aware of all options.  There are always properties on the market, and there will always be a variety of different agents and representatives responsible for the buying and selling. Buying a place is not like buying a pint of milk; for most people not just any old place will do, most are looking for something special that suits their needs and meets their budget. So I implore you to seek out all options. Don’t get lazy and go to the big high street agents only, you’d be missing out on a tailor-made service and potentially your ideal home.

Comments: 37

  1. Lance June 5, 2013 at 7:15 pm Reply

    I’m looking to by a gun for home defense purposes, and am also looking to possibly start a gun collection.

    I have been looking at the Mossberg 500 (the cruiser and the tactical). But I am interested in the Benelli M4 semi-auto shotgun.

    I feel like the Benelli would be over kill when it comes to home defense, but would be an interesting part of a gun collection.

    The downside is that the Benelli is about three times as expensive as the Mossberg.

    Which would you recommend?

  2. Shannan June 6, 2013 at 8:49 am Reply

    i want to know what i can use to make my penis bigger than it is, and if i can make anything at home because it will be embarassing going to a shop to buy a penis enlarger, please help,

  3. Fonda June 11, 2013 at 8:29 am Reply

    i am trying to find music with bass but clubbing type of music.
    my favorite is freeze by t pain.
    what are the songs that are similar to the above one?
    thank you so much

  4. Tory June 12, 2013 at 5:37 pm Reply

    Has anyone used live trout as bait for striped bass/ largemouth before, and if so, did it work well?

  5. Odell June 22, 2013 at 3:22 am Reply

    I’m doing a research paper on this topic and i’d like some insight on whom some people look up to , who is your role model and why? who do you admire?

  6. Janelle June 26, 2013 at 12:25 am Reply

    I’m making my boyfriend of almost 3 years a home-made Valentines Day card, and I wanted to put a romantic/love quote on it. He LOVES Phish, so I thought that it would be a little more personal if I could include a romantic or love like quote from a Phish song. Can anyone recommend one to me?

  7. Wilmer June 27, 2013 at 5:52 am Reply

    Alright so, first of all, I’m 15 years old. Now I don’t want people lecturing me about how I’m too young for this type of behaviour, cause it wasn’t a “let’s just pleasure ourselves because we have nothing better to do and we have crazy hormones” thing, it was more of a “I love you, I’m comfortable with you, and I want to give you all of myself” type of thing. Anyways, lately I’ve been feeling symptoms that I found out could be pregnancy symptoms from the research I’ve conducted. Those symtoms are, fatigue, sharp pains in my abdomen, light spotting, clear discharge, frequent urination, and I’ve been crying a lot lately (which might be due to the fact that I keep thinking about that if I am pregnant, I might have to have an abortion because my parents already hate my boyfriend enough already, and have been very disappointed in me lately so I’ll be forced to choose between keeping my boyfriend, my parents pride in me but not knowing the child I could have had, or keeping the child, losing my boyfriend, living with my parents disapproval in me, and never being able to have children with the boy I love again.) These symptoms definitely sound like pregnancy symptoms, but when I bought a home test, the result was negative. I also have a problem about knowing when my period is due, because even though my period usually starts around the 13th-15th of each month, it began on the 31st of May, and lasted a lot longer than my normal menstrual cycle does (it was about 5 or 6 days instead of the 2-3 days it usually is). The 31st is also the day I lost my virginity, and I expected my next period to be later than the 13th or 15th this month since it was late last month, so we continued intercourse until June 14th, today is the 19th and my menstrual cycle still hasn’t come yet. The days we had intercourse were the 31st, 4th, 5th, 6th, 13th and 14th. According to the research I found, it should be too early to see symptoms. I began feeling the symptoms on the 17th, and bought a home test on the 18th and it tested negative. I didn’t use first morning urine or keep the test in a cup, so I think that could have affected my results, because these symptoms definitely aren’t normal. We only used the withdrawal method and my guessing about when my menstrual cycle should be. Does anyone know if these symptoms confirm that I’m pregnant?

  8. Nikia June 28, 2013 at 9:34 am Reply

    umm wen i maturbate and reach the big ‘o” i feel like i dont wanna do it again.. and after it burns, besides ky what can i use at home? and how come the inside is purple?

  9. Leonor July 9, 2013 at 5:19 am Reply

    want to train pitbulls
    want to train pits to hunt hoggs and if u have a problem with pitbulls dont answer me take your hate some where else id already had one hater of the breed reply

  10. Johana July 10, 2013 at 8:00 pm Reply

    eg. Both of you together make me smile
    or something BETTER than that baha because that sounds corny.
    thanks!

  11. Emmitt July 28, 2013 at 1:01 am Reply

    Im downloading to my psp using my psp.the website is http://www.download.nl .suggest me some songs.i normally listen to rap or something like flobots or insane clown posse.so plz suggest me some songs.thx

  12. Wilmer August 1, 2013 at 9:58 pm Reply

    I would like a serious response here, please.

    I am 20 years old and live at home with my mother and sister. Lately we have been going through financial difficulties. Both my mother and I work, but we barely pay the bills together. My mother recently reached out to our immediate family and asked if anyone could loan us some money so that we wouldn’t have to worry about going under if there was a serious medical emergency or something. We were denied by everyone.

    Then my mother’s sister and her husband came over. They gave my mother a speech about her future and how she would not be prepared if there was ever a financial catastrophe. This was their offer: “we’ll buy the house from you guys, fix it up, let you stay there for the rest of your life, and let your children (me and my sister) remain in the house for 10 years following your death”. They want to put it in a trust and do all this legal mumbojumbo so that it would be a “family house”.

    The house we live in used to belong to my grandmother, my mother and her sister’s mother. She purchased the house with her life savings and payed it off in full. No mortgage. No BS. Just pay the property tax and the fee for living in a gated development and its permanently ours.

    Here’s the problem.

    When my grandmother was on her death-bed, and was making sure her will was fully in order, my aunt and her husband came to my grandmother and called her a fool for leaving the house to my mother. They said my mother did not deserve the house and that they would put it “to better use”. That my family, “was not worth it”. This infuriated my grandmother into a near heart-attack, and she ordered them to get out and never mention it again.

    The reason she became so angry was because at the time this all was happening, my mother and father were getting a divorce. We had to do a short-sail on our home, and my father moved back across the country to live with his immediate family. In short, if my grandmother had not left the house to us, my family would have been homeless.

    My aunt and uncle, in the meanwhile, make a combined 7 figures or so per year. They own a ranch with 4 acres of property and eleven horses. They also have vacation homes in New Jersey, Chicago, and Seattle.

    Now here we are, 8 years later, and here they come again. We reached out to the family for financial support and they return with a shady deal where they are the ones with the well-paid lawyers to look over the contracts. They smile and say nice things but their past reveals their nature. I DO NOT TRUST THEM.

    I have never felt like this before. I am trying to keep my temper in check, but my suspicions never leave me alone. I did not think it was possible for family to treat family like this, but if they are truly planning what I think they are planning, then there is absolutely no forgiveness for these people.

    If my aunt makes my family homeless for her own monetary profit, I will look her in the eye, slit my palm to the bone, and curse her bloodline with undying HATE. Immortal, undying, eternal HATRED upon her, her children, their children, and their children for a thousand generations. I don’t care if it destroys me. I don’t care if it rips my soul to pieces. They will SUFFER if my family is hurt for their pleasure.

    I see no end to this darkness if these things come to pass… Is there anyone who has experienced pain like this? Has anyone pulled through? I need something to stop this before it happens. But if my aunt goes through with this, whether she succeeds in taking the house or not, the very fact that those were her true intentions will have sealed her fate and most likely my own.

  13. Quinn September 23, 2013 at 10:09 pm Reply

    Please help!! Okay so a couple of days ago, I noticed my vagina has been really itchy and red. It also burns a bit. I’ve a complete Virgin, not even fooling around. I have “pleasured” myself down there a few times but I never penetrate myself with any objects. I also have creamy white discharge that changes to sometimes look like mucus (really clear). It’s a little “stinky” but not that much. It’s just realllllly bothering me and I’m worried something’s wrong! So far I’ve put Vaseline to calm it a bit since I dont have any neosporin. It seemed to help a lil bit. But it’s still pretty bad. I haven’t shaved in the affected area for awhile so I know that’s not. If anybody has any idea how to fix this please help! And if you have any home remedies that’d be awesome!! 🙂

  14. Elfrieda November 8, 2013 at 4:22 am Reply

    I will be traveling to London with two friends in May. We will be landing at London Heathrow Airport and staying for four nights. On the fifth day, we intend to check out of the hotel and take the Eurostar to Paris.
    We would like to be able to take public transit both from the airport to the hotel and from the hotel to the Eurostar station. We do not want to pay for a taxi. We would also like to be within short travel distance (30 minutes or less via public transit) of the main tourist attractions.
    Which districts of London fit this bill, while also providing relatively inexpensive hotels?

  15. Tristan December 23, 2013 at 8:55 am Reply

    Okay so all my life I’ve repeated the same day. I’m home-schooled so I don’t have any friends and since money is tight I can’t enroll into anything (and they wonder why kids like to do crazy stuff. Boredom) I want to move out but, I’m just 14. Which should I live with?

    My mom is very nagging and not in the motherly way. She likes only her voice to be heard. That was fine at first seeing as how I had no example to go with but, over time I developed a mind of my own and she hasn’t quite liked that. Example: I used to wear whatever she bought me and and now I pick out my own clothes and their usually black, red plaid or white. I try to tell her the issues but, she likes to yell and scream when I’m pretty mellow. Even when I was little she used to scream at my father (separated) and it used to scar me so badly that I’d run away or that I’d self harm (I was roughly 4-6) I used to bite myself till I saw holes. I’d purposely give myself a rash just to feel the pain. I would go as far as to rub my arms across the sharp sink. (I know it’s stupid but) I have scars along my body from it. I used to take pleasure in babysitting but, after taking a course no one ever hired me and I was nice and respectful. They’d always say the’d call and 2 years later still waiting for it.

    My dad is pretty stupid. He doesn’t work, he doesn’t have his own car, but he’ll sit on his but and tell me how “hard” life is. He likes to threaten me and mentally abused me since I was little. He didn’t always used to be that way but, now he is so. Really f****d that up. I’m a girl by the way. And he used to keep me over night and spank me when I asked to go home. The police were called on one occasion.

    I never had a really “family” the one person I could actually say I had a fatherly relationship with was my mom’s old best friend and he left with my step sister’s as soon as he got married…my eldest step sister has passed on. From what I believe to be suicide.

    My mom has given me the option to live with him or her. Living with him means going by his beliefs. and obviously being leeched off of when I get older.

    Living with her equals going by her overly religious house and being someone I’d not.

    I’d rather be dead then live with either one but, no one else would possibly want me. Aunts, Uncle would rather eat glass then have me. My grand parents have raised their kids and they don’t deserve to raise anymore. The only person that truly loves me for me is my grandfather but, he’s 72 years old and I can’t burden him.

    Please. If you know a place where I can go or an option i’d love to hear it. Next option is to runaway or suicide. My final chapter.
    PandaBear- I live in the US. and believe I might as well speak a foreign language because no one notices nor listens to me. I only have 4 more years here but, foster care is not an option because kids with harder lives should go there rather than someone like me who has some stability. I have called social services before. All they did was say it was just a phase.

  16. Garfield December 23, 2013 at 9:15 am Reply

    I’m 15 years old boy. I never had sex before. I want to get some suggestion for my first time experience. Help!!

  17. Spencer December 23, 2013 at 9:18 am Reply

    I had a bad headache last night and thought that maybe it would go away with some sleep. I woke up at 6am and still had it, I didnt sleep well either. So I took Tylenol extra strenght that I found and it didnt go away completely. I ALWAYS take Advil but I ran out and cannot afford to buy any.
    Any natural remedies?
    Could being on the computer too long have triggered it?

  18. Pedro January 2, 2014 at 5:10 pm Reply

    Ever since I got married (and even before while we were dating) my in laws have been asking for so many favors, mostly financial. They constantly borrow money from my husband (he claims they give it back). They always expect for us to invite them to eat and / or drink. Whenever they invite us, they will always make a point to say that they are all the time paying for us. We don’t necessarily have a lot of money. We live paycheck to paycheck but make great efforts to buy stuff that we like and enjoy for our home. They also live paycheck to paycheck but they spend great amounts of money dining out and drinking and partying. They also invite their other children and their wives and boyfriends. Sometimes, they don’t have money to pay bills because they spent money partying and paying for everybody’s food and drinks. When the whole family goes out, they expect us to pay, but not the other two kids they have. We are tired of them asking for money when we know they could have paid their bills if they didn’t party that much. On top of that, my brother in law does not work and he and his wife now are having a second child. My in laws take care of them in all aspects (financially). So, that’s where all their money go to: partying, drinking and supporting their other children and their families.
    My question is: Am I being selfish by not wanting to give them money? Am I being selfish for working hard and wanting to use my hard earned money towards my home and my kid? We also make sacrifices and we don’t go out and party as much because we are buying a house and taking care of our stuff. So, am I selfish for not obtaining a loan for them so they can buy A/Cs, TVs, and stuff like that? If the bank won’t lend them money, why should we ask the bank to lend us money so we can give it to them? Its a pain in the neck to collect money from them!
    Sometimes I feel that the Bible says that we should not be selfish and we should help others, but, the question again is, am I being selfish for not going above and beyond to help them? They don’t even help themselves, all they are is to party and drink. And again, my husband and I live paycheck to paycheck and with our money we pay our bills and buy decent stuff for our house but no credit, all cash. We save and we buy stuff little by little.
    On top of everything, when we say we won’t ask money to the bank so they can buy crap they want, they insult my husband and tell them he is a bad son. They literally insult him calling him stupid, gay, and ugly stuff like that. They even claim that my husband wasn’t like that (selfish I guess) before. Now I’m upset because they are basically blaming me for not helping them. They say it is his duty to help them and his brother.
    Thank you for your thoughts! I just had to “tell” someone.
    FEEDBACK:

    Andrew, thanks. Yes, I do talk about it with my husband and he agrees we shouldn’t help them as much since they are like you said, leeches. However, I wanted to know if we are both crazy or if other “strangers” feel the same. Thanks.
    JudyGar, thanks. We moved to another country a month ago so that should work, hopefully. Thanks!

  19. Rod January 7, 2014 at 3:15 pm Reply

    “Core (key) symptoms:
    Persistent sadness or low mood. This may be with or without weepiness.
    Marked loss of interest or pleasure in activities, even for activities that you normally enjoy.

    Other common symptoms:
    Disturbed sleep compared with your usual pattern. This may be difficulty in getting off to sleep, or waking early and being unable to get back to sleep. Sometimes it is sleeping too much.
    Change in appetite. This is often a poor appetite and weight loss. Sometimes the reverse happens with comfort eating and weight gain.
    Fatigue (tiredness) or loss of energy.
    *Agitation or slowing of movements.
    Poor concentration or indecisiveness. For example, you may find it difficult to read, work, etc. Even simple tasks can seem difficult.
    Feelings of worthlessness, or excessive or inappropriate guilt.
    *Recurrent thoughts of death. This is not usually a fear of death, more a preoccupation with death and dying. For some people despairing thoughts such as “life’s not worth living” or “I don’t care if I don’t wake up” are common. Sometimes these thoughts progress into thoughts and even plans for suicide.”

    I don’t have the two starred symptoms.

    My episodes of depression generally last for about a week followed by usually 2 or 3 days tops of a very happy period where I feel like ‘time is running out” or I just have so many happy things I have to get done and I follow a really healthy diet. This is then followed by a period at least twice as long where I don’t want to do anything, I binge eat or just eat terribly. During this depressed period I sometimes won’t go to school and will say I have an upset stomach and diarrhea which I sometimes do when I’m depressed. I also will watch TV and talk to online friends I have that I do no know offline and basically not leave my room or computer. I am also very defensive during this time and snap at my family members. When and if I go to school I can’t focus in class, I barely do my homework, and I get okay grades but much lower than I normally get. I still put up a happy front to my friends though. When I’m at home and I depressed I watch a lot of TV (netflix) and cry a lot more than I usually do). I will write in my journal how frustrated I am with myself and occasionally cry myself to sleep. I think it is also is important to note I have gone to counseling once at school and didn’t like the counselor so I stopped. This has been going on for roughly 2 years since I got really sick and had to leave my high school freshmen year after fall term and go to a different one for the rest of the year. I also got really bad grades at the school while I was sick and I didn’t know it and didn’t make the field hockey team that I thought I was going to make and had next to no friends, so basically it was a failure of a trimester. I am now 16 and just finished my fall trimester at the school I went to freshman year during fall term (I cam back sophomore year). I also went from weighing 118 to weighing 145, which as an athlete caused me to not make many teams and get injured when trying to train as hard as I used to.

    What is the first step to recovery for me? Counseling? I stayed home from school today from stomach pains and diarrhea and mostly because I’m depressed and I’m sick of this. I don’t know how more of this I can take. I’ve started to disconnect even more from people and started to not look people in the eye or even put up my happy front. I’m getting scared. I want to go to college but I’m worried I won’t be able to with this “depression” (in quotes b/c I’m not diagnosed, I have approached my mom 2-3 times she doesn’t believe me or writes me off as just over exaggerating my sadness however she couldn’t deny my weight and know constantly is checking to see if Im eating in my room and stopped buying extra food). Please HELP!
    (please no mean comments and I understand this is a sob story, but its my sob story and I really would appreciate advice)

  20. Agustin February 2, 2014 at 5:40 pm Reply

    Well I met this guy at university over a year ago, we talked now and again, always very amicable. Saw each other in classes and used to take cigarette breaks together and have chats. I always liked him but thought we were just friends, it wasn’t as if we were best friends or anything- it was just really nice when we did see each other.

    Anyway there would be events now and again, I’d see him and the attraction was growing; I just thought there wasn’t a chance he’d like me. I’m a smart girl but I come across as ditzy and he was very outgoing, really intelligent. Anyway, one day after class our group went for a drink, we ended up flirting a lot and then going off for a private drink at a bar.

    After that is what really confuses me: we ended up having a really deep conversation, not the type you would just have with anybody, talking about life, personal stuff etc. And we ended up kissing; he initiated it and he was saying he thought I’d never have liked him and he thought I was beautiful, I didn’t take that too literally as I never do but it was all the other stuff really. Everything seemed amazing. We kissed a lot, held hands, a bit of heavy petting- but now that I look back I think he wanted more as he was really into it. It was quite passionate and I’m not the type of girl to do that with just anyone, and I suppose it meant something to me.There was a lot of stuff being said by him, ‘I think I’m a bit in love’ etc, which I bought into like an idiot. I just never thought he would be the type to lie as he’d always been so lovely before. Now that I think back to it I know he just wanted sex, all that stuff he said was for that. Because I went home, thinking he liked me, I don’t think he wanted me to go. A week later I saw him again and he asked me for a drink but then he had to go after 10 minutes.

    After that it was all over, he’d ignore me in classes, not acknowledge me when I was around, pretty cold stuff; he never did that before that night, he would always say hi to me. I had extremely strong feelings for him and it hurt a lot. I tried to talk to him about it once and he kind of just brushed it under the carpet. So it was very awkward being in his presence all this time. One day he did talk to me when waiting for a class and said he was leaving the course, it was not for him. This was 2 years into the course and 3 months after that night. I was even more devastated knowing I wouldn’t see him again and I couldn’t handle the game playing. I was poker faced and so was he. He didn’t even say bye.

    After he left uni I found out he had slept with this girl who was friends with someone at uni and I felt sick. He’d slept with her and ignored her afterwards apparently. So even though I was shocked I was glad that never happened with me and him, I wouldn’t sleep with someone that quickly. I had a good summer and got over it.

    Then when I went back after the summer, he was gone, but people from uni would still see him around and talk about him as if he was amazing, and I literally would go home in tears after hearing about him. I knew he was a prick but it still really upset me, I would think about it all the time…but I did eventually get a bit better after that too.

    Then a few months later I hear he’s been out again with people from uni when I wasn’t around and was trying it on with this girl from a different course. I was fine hearing it, it upset me for a bit and whenever I’d see her I’d literally try to scrutinize everything about her like I was some obsessive maniac.

    And now uni’s over- I have real friends I’ve known all my life so don’t feel the need to stay in touch with people from uni- especially as all the rumours put me back at square one again- no one knows how I felt about him and I wouldn’t tell them.

    But every now and again, I get extreme heartache. My chest literally feels like its burning, thinking about how embarrassing it is that I fell for that, and even worse, I still, after all this time have feelings for him that haven’t gone after knowing he wasn’t who he portrayed himself to be. I have dated others since him but I don’t even want anyone if I’m honest.

    So basically I have a couple of questions:

    Please can anyone give me a way to get rid of the heartache this has caused?

    Why do you think this guy is like this?

    What do these types of men get out of doing this to people?

    Any opinions on the situation are seriously needed. I don’t talk about this to anyone so I could really use some words of wisdom. please note that I know its a lot of feeling to have for someone after that brief period. I’m not a desperate girl, who gets that over just anyone. I was just naive and I thought he was ideal for me, everything about him
    sorry, I knew I’d get a comment like that. I’m a writer, I get carried away

  21. Yuko February 21, 2014 at 12:34 pm Reply

    “Prayin, so father please forgive me, police be rushin when they see me, I flaunted, Amercas most wanted, live on t.v, like pleasure and pain, stuk in this game, callin my name, we all gon’ die, we bleed through similar veins”

  22. Jordon February 21, 2014 at 3:26 pm Reply

    So my friend and her boyfriends love song is Sure Thing by Miguel. I’m in love with that song but we can’t have the same song! And unfortunately it was hers first.. So I’m looking for one reallllllly similar that I can use for me and my boyfriend. Ten points to person who gives me the right song (: Thanks!

  23. Denny February 22, 2014 at 12:47 am Reply

    Or downloaded I guess. Any genre.

    I just bought Pain is a Warning by Today is the Day, You?

    BQ: Do you still buy CD’s?
    BQ2: Now Playing?
    BQ3: How are you today?
    BQ4: Uhhh… Do you believe in Aliens?
    BQ5: What BQ should I add next?
    BQ7: Do you like Crepes?
    BQ6 will be yay or nay, but now I must figure out what t will be about.
    BQ6 is the mystery BQ lost to time and faded in a dark dementia only to be fabricated in the threads of time.

  24. Bula February 22, 2014 at 3:14 am Reply

    A glimpse…The prophet Al-mustafa who has lived in the foreign city of Orphalese for 12 years is about to board a ship which will carry him home. He is stopped by a group of people, with whom he discusses many issues of life and the human condition. The book is divided into chapters dealing with love, marriage, children, giving, eating and drinking, work, joy and sorrow, houses, clothes, buying and selling, crime and punishment, laws, freedom, reason and passion, pain, self-knowledge, teaching, friendship, talking, time, good and evil, prayer, pleasure, beauty, religion, and death.
    i thank Liebes and Monk for their best contributions. i thank shri srividya rajagopalan sir for his best answer.

  25. Pat February 22, 2014 at 4:22 am Reply

    Exactly a week and a half ago my girlfriend and I had intercourse for the first time. We used complete protection the entire time. The condom remained perfectly in tact and perfectly secure the entire time. Obviously there were various things like a short handjob and ******* and fingering leading up to the actual intercourse. Exactly four days ago we had sex multiple times in the span of several hours, obviously with various acts of previously mentioned foreplay leading up to each act. She texted me last night saying she had bad stomach pains, apparently worse than stomach pains she’s ever gotten before, and she hadn’t eaten anything larger or out of the ordinary. She slept on it, and today, she told me she had a fever, and I believe she threw up a bit, but now she seems to be feeling fine. It could be nothing. I plan to keep a close watch on what’s going on, because I can’t help but start to wonder. To my knowledge we were the safest about it as we could have ever been. At no point did any condoms break or slip off or overflow or anything like that.

    Here’s what makes me nervous, partially because the fact that I can’t remember exactly what occurred is killing me. On the day where we had intercourse several times, every act of intercourse was led up to by a handjob, ********, and fingering. I believe that once, my finger brushed up against the damp head of my penis and could’ve picked up a tiny amount of pre-*** from the handjob she had been giving me. To the best of my memory, I think I wiped my hand on both the bedsheets and my own skin, drying the surface of my fingers but who’s to say that residue wasn’t still there. In the heat of the moment not thinking about what was going on, I inserted those fingers back into her to pleasure her more, and about a minute later, we were having intercourse. I just feel like as safe as we were about the actual intercourse, some amount of pre-*** could have found its way in through mine or her fingers, but it was so unnoticeable that I just can’t remember and am not sure. This was about the third intercourse of the day.

    During the actual intercourses, I can be 99.9 percent sure that no fluids at all were transferred, we were incredibly safe about it. Also, the condoms used were Trojan spermicidal. I have no idea if this is effective or not I just figured I would mention it. If this is simply a strong intestinal/gas pain that she just had to get some rest for and she feels perfectly fine over the course of the next week I’ll feel a bit more eased, but right now I can’t help but ponder the worst scenario imaginable. Given my whole story (please read it), what could be going on? Am I overreacting, to be honest I’m not sure what to think. Perhaps its serious, perhaps its nothing, I’d just like some insight.

  26. Dorethea February 25, 2014 at 12:57 pm Reply

    Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing

    Prepair yourself for some rootin tootin fun!! HAHAHA!!

    This game rocked my socks. I cant even emphazise how much this game made me want to pee myself in pleasure. Big Rigs for the PC truely captured what it’s like to be a real country truck driver. Racing retarded RV’s, Driving through transparant homes, and going gold digging in the mountains! To put it simply, Big Rigs will make you cry tears of excitement. It’s like seventeen orgasms in one holy messiah of a video game simulator!! The game is just incredibly beautiful. This is the game that set the standards for inferior games such as gears of war, god of war, Halo, Burnout 3!!! I just can’t wait for the sequals =D big rigs tiney truck and Big Rigs the real truck simulator. This is truly an amazing great revolutionary game 10out10!!!!!!!!!

  27. Morgan March 11, 2014 at 4:41 am Reply

    On the back of each of our place cards at our reception, we’ve decided to put a humourous joke, saying, quotez etc related to the theme of weddings and marriage. We’ve collected quite a few already, but we can do with alot more.

    Does anybody have any thing to contribute?

    They should be reasonably short – ideally one liners, but anything up to about 4 lines of text would be ok. Other than that, keep them clean as there will be kids at the reception.

    Thanks in advance for all contributions.

  28. Paulita March 11, 2014 at 10:58 pm Reply

    please
    like the past 3 months i know a lot of songs turst me

  29. Caron March 17, 2014 at 3:33 am Reply

    This is pretty much my life story in a way, and possibly the story of my relationship with my gf; and the problems I think I have as a person. Also this is just “me venting”. But I wouldn’t mind getting some feed back from someone in a psychological field.

    First off, I’m 24 years of age. Pretty average middle class American, (dead end job, bad grades etc).
    About 4 years ago my mother passed away. She had a heart attack and passed while I was giving her CPR. Now before she passed I was and average person when it came to women. I’ve only slept with about 6 girls at the time. (Remember that).

    Like most people who go through the grieving process, I tried to “escape” my life. But not into drugs, but rather into a girl. Now this girl I’m speaking of, is not my current gf.
    After about 6 months of bliss, she ends up cheating on me, because I sucked in bed. (because I did, at the time). After the break up, I started to actually grieve. When I thought my grieving process was over, I started to head back out into the world. Not proud to say, I became a slut. I have slept with over 30 woman in my life now. (and became amazing in bed)

    Now, one night out (my last night out you could say). I meet this girl, who happens to be my current gf for the last 2 years, and love of my life. I put a stop to my slutty ways the moment I met her and I’ve really fallen in love with this girl.
    About 8 months into our relationship, she/we get pregnant. Now neither she or myself can afford or rightfully support a baby at the moment. But I tell her that it is %100 her decision, and I will support her and be there for her either way. (and I meant it). We decide that having a baby right now, would not be fair to the child, and that we will have a baby when we have the ability to support one. She gets an abortion and I am there for her the entire time. (please no judgement)

    Now when we first started dating, sex was a high priority for her, like it was for me. We would have amazing sex, and it was the first time I felt really wanted by a woman. Obviously we did not have sex for a while after the abortion. But we did start to have sex again about 4 months after the abortion. I did not pressure at all within those months, I am not an asshole. (not yet anyway).

    It has been about a year now after the abortion, and our sex life is NOTHING like it used to be. I know she is still recovering from the most traumatic expierience of her life.(you never stop recovering after an abortion)
    But sometimes I wish for my old sex life back, I miss it honestly. And though I would never leave my gf (I plan on marrying her), I do often think if I would be better off alone.
    I know it’s wrong to feel the way I do, and that making sex a high priority when there are bigger things to worry about is selfish of me. And I honestly do feel awful about it, but I just can’t help the way I think.
    Since the abortion we’ve both taking steps to build a life together. We’ve both got better jobs and she is on birth control at the moment (which really isn’t helping our sex life).
    My gf can tell that I miss our sex life, and she is trying slowly to ease back into it. And I love her for it. But it almost makes me feel like I’m forcing her, like it’s not a genuine act of affection.

    So I guess my “question” is; why do i think like this? Am I insecure? If so why? Am I not over the death of my mother, so I escape into sex? Do I wish for my old sex life back, because I wish for my old life back? Do I just naturally have a high sex drive? Do I miss sex with my gf because I truely enjoyed it? Am I masking my grief over the abortion?
    These are the thoughts that keep me up at night. And this is what makes me a bad person.

    Any “true” help would be greatly appreciated.
    Thank you.

  30. Lorie March 17, 2014 at 3:33 am Reply

    Well, it’s a long story please read it & help as much as you can,
    There’s this girl that was ( when we were in mid school around age 15 ) causing me too much trouble. School was forcing me into horrible punishment because of her lies & troubles. after that horrible incident, I lost interest in school & became totally a loser. My future is totally ruined now & my mother is hushing me thinking that girl along with bad people like her won’t make a scandal or cause a trouble again. She was totally mistaken. This girl still causing me pain with her ugly face. Talking to me as if she did nothing. She lives in near & I’m afraid of her that she may kill me or kill my mother. I changed my friends because of her & her evil manners. I changed my cell phone numbers & everything. I can’t change where I live cause I have nowhere else to stay at. I won’t risk buying my home for a filth like her. I wish I could take avenge but it seems that I can’t. It’s not good to tell police isn’t it? cause she’s the biggest lier on earth. She would lie again & again & again. Causing me scandals & confessing people around wit things that I didn’t do. The worst thing is I lost my mother, my job, my friends, my fiance’ & my trust in people. I know this is beyond believe but it’s the truth. She caused me depression, hallucination & other bad things 🙁

    Sorry if this is too long to read or too bad to imagine. Excuse my language & mistakes. Thank you in advance for your advices I really need them.

  31. Brenton March 17, 2014 at 3:33 am Reply

    Everybody is green now. Society is urging us to recycle or turn down your AC or carpool. OK, I see why this helps reduce your personal Carbon footprint, but if I start going to great pains to help save the enviornment, what is that going to do about the whole problem?

    How can one person, or an entire city, for that matter, make any difference when the entire world is being wasteful? How can the actions of individuals make dents in the problem?

    If just the actions of individuals cannot make a difference, then why should we give up personal pleasures, like a cold or warm house, or showering longer? Why do they tell us to recycle and make these prickly changes in our perfectly good lives when the effort of the conscience few don’t matter in the long run?

    One person, one community trying to reverse “Global Warming” will not make a difference, it takes world leaders and international efforts. Untill then, untill the goverment makes sweeping regulations, why recycle, why be green?
    “Everybody is green now” is, of course, a lie. I added it for literal irony.

  32. Johnette March 28, 2014 at 4:31 pm Reply

    me and my friends are planning to buy a goat and im wondering if somebody can send me some links or any information about raising goats.
    i need to know feeding information, what it drinks, housing, ect. basically EVERYTHING that is baby goat and raising it related.
    he will be 2 months old when we buy him. we should get him in a few days, so help…?!

  33. Arletha May 2, 2014 at 4:16 pm Reply

    for me , when i have money am super excited because i can travel,shop, do fun stuff and buy food which makes me happy , so why do people say that? and sure they say it can’t buy friends,wife,home,etc. but still can buy some happiness, do they say that because their poor?

  34. Shena May 12, 2014 at 8:02 am Reply

    i cant feel anything inside, well back when i was younger like 10 and 15 i use to feel so many things
    excitement pleasure from little things, staying up 12am was like WOW and now i feel nothing :/
    i even got a new motorbike i cant ride it yet because insurance, but i still l don’t feel super happy
    like i use to when i was young even a new game made me feel super happy.
    i don’t even enjoy cycling anymore i just think of going home fast.
    why do i feel this way? I WANT MY EMOTIONS BACK 🙁 am 19 felt like this from 17

  35. Pedro June 12, 2014 at 6:34 am Reply

    And I’m left with her tomorrow when she comes home (My dad has his own auto business and only works for himself) so I took school and work off to be with her.
    What things can I do to make her recovery more comfortable and pleasent for her, without being overwhelming? I know she’s in a lot of pain. I bought her flowers (my boyfriend bought her yellow roses too.)
    She had to have her artery cleaned. It was over 80% clogged, so they made an incision in the neck and drained it. It was a major artery to the brain, which if left ignored, could of caused a stroke.

  36. Blaine June 12, 2014 at 6:35 am Reply

    i dont know what to do..
    i feel so lost and confused right now i’m not even sure what u call this emotion, this feeling its ridiculous!!
    i’ve been unhappy at school for a long time now, and at home..well it has its ups and downs…but the downs are really bad and the ups are not that fantastic either.

    i am constantly crying, little, tiny things upset me and make me cry for hours..i cry for so long that in the end i dont even know what i’m crying over, i guess its just my stupid life. i have cut before…not a lot and not serious cuts, its tempting but under control.
    i feel like theres no one to talk too, i dont trust my ‘friends’ with secrets like these…they could easily tell someone else and soon i’d be known as the ’emo’ girl. and omg i hate that term.

    i recently get this feeling….i feel empty and hollow and really really hopeless. like all your emotions are cut off all together, thats what it feels like and u just get this sinking feeling…i hate being around people…i always wana be by myself, lately…i cant concentrate on anything. everything i do needs full attention. i used to be a straight A student now my grades are slipping as well.
    i am gona see a counselor…really soon actually but i dont see what he can do to help me. i hit rock bottom i cant get up more than that…i dont want too. i dont wana be pushed back down anymore coz the fall hurts more and more each time.
    please help me!!!!

  37. Rosaria June 12, 2014 at 6:35 am Reply

    My baby gerbil has been making clicking sounds and its really worrieing i really need to know how much it costs before i take them to pets at home because i dont want them taken away from me….

    If its too expensive ill just find another pet.. can some one please help me Thanks 😀
    Sorry i ment find another vet..

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